Pipe Smokers Intelligencer

Here is a metaphor I want you to consider.

I have a friend who once lived near Yellowstone National Park. He loved to venture to the park, watch the grizzly bears as they roamed wherever they wanted to roam.

Being the top of the food chain, the griz feared neither man nor beast. My friend told me that while he was in that part of the nation, he read a pamphlet that instructed one on how to react if ever confronted by a grizzly in the outback.

“The pamphlet said that you were to yell loudly, then run and if the griz gained on you, to lie down and roll up in a ball and cover your head with your arms. This was supposed to give you some protection and perhaps the griz would grow tired of clawing you and leave.”

Falling down on the ground and rolling up in a ball, my friend told me, just made it easier for griz to eat you faster.

Now here is the point to my story. If tobacco users lay down and play dead with the FDA’s new regulatory approach and the U.S. Rep. Steve Cohen bill to increase federal taxes on tobacco products by 775 percent, then we are going to be consumed, eaten alive.

You can count on it. The end will just come sooner rather than later.

If you missed it Sunday, Jan. 31, 2010, the New York Times ran a story about Altria and its shenanigans with the FDA.

It now appears,from my reading of that story at least, that Altria, which now owns Philip Morris, cut a sweetheart deal with Congress and the FDA.

When Altria agreed to get on the side of the regulators, they hitched us (meaning pipe tobacco and cigar users) to their wagon.

We do not need to be in that wagon.

Here is why. Altria is trying an end run on the FDA. It wants FDA tied up looking at how it is conforming to the new regs with its smokeless tobacco products, while continuing to sell cigarettes, which the FDA is going to destroy eventually. But, that is down the road and there is quite a bit of money in cigarettes on the horizon, until federal law finally does in the smoke.

The news story points out that Altria has sent FDA a series of letters saying that it should get a bye on its smokeless tobacco products because they are less harmful than cigarettes.

Altria wants to be able to promote its smokeless products as being less harmful, with FDA approval, of course.

Now, something is up.  Bet on it. Altria took in $14.4 billion (that is a big B) in 2009 from sales of cigarettes and a mere $1.2 billion in smokeless products.

In addition, here is what I think: Altria is trying to divert FDA from its cigarette sales somewhat by pushing its smokeless products. It is transparent, and FDA’s boys have to be smart enough to see through this.

But, maybe there is something else going on. If Altria can kick up enough dust over smokeless products, perhaps FDA will get to looking around at those other “less harmful” products, like pipe tobacco and cigars.

Ok. I can hearthe argument from the ainti’s right now: prove that pipe tobacco and cigars are less harmful.

My answer: just check out the Surgeon General’s reports beginning with the first one. Their aim has been cigarettes all along, while saying that pipe tobacco and cigars are a risk for oral cancers, but a reduced risk if smoked in moderation.

Altria says it is trying to push for a new “societal alignment”, becoming a good corporate citizen.

Yeah, right.The only alignment Altria wants to re-align is its bottom line, and if pipe tobacco and cigars get in the way, they will be run over.

Back to my grizzly bear model.

If we lay down on the trail, we are going to be eaten by Altria and other large bodies in the Big Tobacco cage.

The Tobacco griz is on the hunt. Make no mistake about that.